Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, BSB Media will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All content is curated by editors of BSB Media..

BSB Media Favorites
Gullah Spirituals – by Eric Sean Crawford (Paperback)
Gullah Geechee Home Cooking: Recipes from the Matriarch of Edisto Island
Gullah Spirit: The Art of Jonathan Green
Drew Rose Designs Ceramic Woven Trim Planter
Set of 4 Woven Striped Placemats – Frontgate
Woven Bamboo Placemats, Set of 4 By Anthropologie in Blue Size SET OF 4
Arthur Court Designs Sea Horse Twisted Seagrass Placemats – set of 4
35″” x 35″” Juneteenth by Synthia Saint James Canvas Art Print – Masterpiece Art Gallery
Yaheetech Set of 2 Weave Arm Chair Mid-Century Metal Dining Chair Y-Shaped Backrest Hemp Seat, Black
Handmade Gullah Sweetgrass Drink Coasters . Traditional Hand Crafted Folk Art . Natural Woven Home Decor . Made in the USA
Sweetgrass Kite Earring
Quilted Patchwork Cotton Throw Blanket – Indigo Blue Shibori Dye Indian Decorative Super Soft & Warm Blanket for Sofa and Couch 50 x 60 Inches
Woven Wicker Rattan Wall Decor, Round Seagrass Boho Kitchen Decor, Minimalist Rattan Chargers & Placemats for Dining Table & Wall Art, Rattan Wall Decorative Basket
Mud Pie Rattan Serving Utensils
ColorBird Stripe Tassel Tablecloth Cotton Linen Dust-Proof Table Cover for Kitchen Dinning Tabletop Decoration (Rectangle/Oblong, 55 x 120Inch, Blue)
carol&frank Josie Indigo Pillow
Finnhomy Sideboard Buffet Cabinet, Kitchen Storage Cabinet with Rattan Decorated Doors
Kouboo 1110141 Manhattan 2-Tier Console, Natural Rattan End Table, Brown
‘Inspirations’ Sheer Scarf by Jonathan Green
Lowcountry Rice Culture Note Cards
‘Inspirations’ Note Cards by Jonathan Green
‘Southern Imagery’ Notecards by Jonathan Green
Willow Row Multi Colored Ceramic Coastal Decorative Jar – Set of 2
Stratton Home Reddish Brown Tulum Woven Lantern Stand
Safavieh Noely Coastal Writing Desk
Lenox Watercolor Horizons Microwave Safe Blue 12-Pc. Dinnerware Set, Service for 4, Created for Macy’s
Estaugh Ikat Black/Gray Indoor / Outdoor Area Rug Union Rustic Rug Size: Rectangle 8′ x 11′
Set of 4 Natalya Ikat Stripe Placemats Gray – Ballard Designs
Suzanne Kasler Greek Key Sham – Ballard Designs
Doric Upholstered Wingback Arm Chair Red Barrel Studio Body Fabric: Skylar Antique Blue
Goddesses by Synthia SAINT JAMES Canvas Wall Art 3 Piece
Whitewash Wood Draped Bead 4 Light Chandelier by World Market
MASTER PIECE LESSONS GULLAH ISLANDS WALL ART, 35X35
GULLAH CUISINE: BY LAND AND BY SEA
GULLAH HOME COOKING THE DAUFUSKIE WAY: SMOKIN’ JOE BUTTER BEANS, OL’ ‘FUSKIE FRIED CRAB RICE, STICKY-BUSH BLACKBERRY DUMPLING, AND OTHER SEA ISLAND FAVORITES (PAPERBACK)
MAMA DOONK’S GULLAH RECIPES (PAPERBACK)
GULLAH IMAGES: THE ART OF JONATHAN GREEN
GROWING UP GULLAH IN THE LOWCOUNTRY (PAPERBACK)
GULLAH GEECHEE HERITAGE IN THE GOLDEN ISLES (PAPERBACK)
AFRICAN AMERICAN LIFE IN THE GEORGIA LOWCOUNTRY: THE ATLANTIC WORLD AND THE GULLAH GEECHEE (RACE IN THE ATLANTIC WORLD, 1700–1900 SER.)
MASTER PIECE JOOK JOINT GULLAH ISLANDS WALL ART, 35X35
G IS FOR GULLAH
BLACK BORDER : GULLAH STORIES OF THE CAROLINA COAST
GULLAH NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (HARDCOVER)
MY KIND OF NET ART PRINT BY GULLAH LIVING SERIES BY SAMANTHA CLAAR – X-LARGE
35″ X 35″ GULLAH GEECHEE CONJURE WOMAN BY SYNTHIA SAINT JAMES CANVAS ART PRINT – MASTERPIECE ART GALLERY
RING SHOUT GULLAH ISLANDS – UNFRAMED PRINT ON CANVAS WORLD MENAGERIE
TALKING TO THE DEAD : RELIGION, MUSIC, AND LIVED MEMORY AMONG GULLAH/GEECHEE WOMEN
GULLAH CULTURE IN AMERICA (PAPERBACK)
MASTER PIECE GATHERING GULLAH ISLANDS WALL ART, 30X40
GULLAH DAYS: HILTON HEAD ISLANDERS BEFORE THE BRIDGE 1861-1956
THE JOHN HOPE FRANKLIN AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY AND CULTURE: MAKING GULLAH: A HISTORY OF SAPELO ISLANDERS, RACE, AND THE AMERICAN IMAGINATION (PAPERBACK)
MASTER PIECE CHASING SENSE GULLAH ISLANDS WALL ART, 35X35

Dear Southern Cousins, we didn’t forget our manners Up North…

Dear Southern Cousins, we didn’t forget our manners Up North…

Black Southern hospitality came up North a time or two. Some of our southern cousins would find it hard to believe that the thing they pride themselves for having…just didn’t show up the same way in northernmost urban centers. The kinfolk are hospitable. The kinfolk are also different.

A couple of weeks ago or so, I asked a friend – a southerner who lives Up North – did we Black Northerners seem rude. She explained yes and no. Yes, because it looked like we weren’t genuinely hospitable by southern standards. No, not really, because southern hospitality is, well, southern. “Who’d expect it to survive up here?” 

I had to tell my friend, it didn’t die. It is not extinct. It survived. It just evolved.  

Advertisement

My young life was in the hands of both southerners and northerners. I was raised to be polite to all, respectful of elders, to offer visitors something to eat and drink, and leave a room when the activity and conversation took a turn to “grown.” We had ‘nice’ china and crystal as well as everyday plates and glasses. Now, we also had those plastic tablecloths with flannel on the backside but in my grandma’s chest were dozens of crocheted tablecloths and linens with matching napkins and doilies. We had the things and ways but we had something else.

Kindness. I’ve said it many times over, I come from kind people. 

Our hospitality appeared in an open door policy. We accepted drop-bys, because both of my grandparents were raised by people who didn’t mind it when family and friends just dropped by. We had family and friends who could drop by and stay as long as they wanted. They could join us for dinner. Pull up a chair. There’s room for one more. Sometimes the peace in the house allowed a relative or close friend to fall asleep, in which case, they’d be offered a bed or a blanket and pillow to catch that nap. In hindsight, my family was not only kind, they were sweet people. 

Advertisement
Marjory Collins, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

But they were also wise. 

We had rules. 

  1. I couldn’t let strangers in the house if no adult was there to supervise. 
  2. You could sit on the stairs of the porch, sit on the porch, but if we didn’t ‘know’ you, you were not coming inside for any reason. 
  3. When a family member died, someone from the family or church or longtime family friend sat at the house on funeral day. 

We didn’t want anyone to case our house. We would not advertise a new TV, stereo or other expensive items. My granddad would destroy the boxes beyond recognition before setting them outdoors for trash pickup. And I wasn’t allowed to talk about any new gadgets in public. 

In a nutshell, once our people moved North, they had to move differently. Generation by generation moved away from the same close circles of fellow southerners who were both family and friends. It became harder to tell who could be trusted in our homes and who could not be trusted. 

Who’d have thought that the values of kindness and being neighborly could make you a mark and potentially get you robbed, harmed or killed? 

What worked Down South had to be adjusted Up North. 

So while we’d all love to have everyone over for lemonade and sweet tea, we know we can’t. We can’t anymore. 

That’s the evolution.

(Previously published on Sept. 09, 2022, Fresh & Fried Hard)

Advertisement

Robin Caldwell

Robin Caldwell is the blogger behind freshandfriedhard.com and academic researcher focusing on Black history, heritage and culture. Public historian primarily in Black American historical foodways: antebellum and regional.

More Posts

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebook

1

Comments

comments

Advertisement
Follow:
Robin Caldwell

Robin Caldwell is the blogger behind freshandfriedhard.com and academic researcher focusing on Black history, heritage and culture. Public historian primarily in Black American historical foodways: antebellum and regional.

Find me on: Twitter/X | Instagram | Facebook

Share:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

Shares